I found a beast one night…….

Thirty three and a half weeks ago I awoke from a heavy nights drinking with Qin Shi Huang to find myself sitting on the back of a Java Pony on a dark lonely road. I was frightened to say the least but as is custom in such situations I reached into my man bag and pulled out my trusted bottle of Copelandia cambodgeniensis juice and rode on into the night.

Not long after, I saw something glaring at me from the end of the road, what is this I thought, could this be some form of mythical beast? “Who are you beast and what do you require from me? I have no cashew nuts for sale”, I had read in House and Garden December 2009 issue that mythical beats only attack at night if someone refuses to sell them any cashew nuts. Suddenly there was a horrible thunder, as if a thousand drums where falling from the sky, and the beast appeared from the end of the road………and wouldn’t you know it was the gorgeous and slightly sexually intimidating Gascan Rossa of the mighty Gascan Ruckus.

I invited him to hope upon my mighty stallion and journey through this unknown terrain so I could take the opportunity to ask him some questions about the band and other related topics that are totally relevant…..After we finished the Copelandia cambodgeniensis juice obviously………

1. How do you feel about the current state of fish sales in Magaluf?

I feel that the fish sales have been greatly booming in the past 20-30 years what with an increase of tourism in the area.

2. How many times do you think it would take me to eat this apple?

Id say you could eat it in 16 bites.

3. When did it? The Other day.

4. I have found several lumps on the in side of my anus.

I reckon you should go to your local GP and get that checked out.

5. Next gig?

Friday in Limerick!

6. ?

!

7. Really?

Oh god aye

8. Eight.

No Hocht

Twelve hours later I awoke outside Millview House in County Sligo with nothing but a bar of Korkunov, four cherry tomatoes, a pine cone covered in melted cheese and my horses torso with no legs or head lying beside my with a Belgium flag stuck up its arse.